Both men and women will be experiencing many confusing and upsetting emotional responses during the whole process of divorce. Feelings such as guilt, remorse, anger, fear, blame, depression, confusion and uncertainty are quite common. As divorce is a life transition phase, both men and women need to handle the situation with proper planning.
It will be wrong to say that women suffer more as compared to men during divorce process. In fact, it will not be wrong to say that men are equally affected by the termination of marriage like women as they also have emotions and feelings. During a legal process, men also have special issues to deal with, including emotional investment, custody battles, division of property, tarnished reputations, and the pain of being alone. Being a man, you need to understand that you have rights as a father, rights as a man and that you need to make sure your rights are being looked after during the whole process.
Here are some importance suggestions for men that can be of great help for them:
For a man it is very important to understand that his wife is also going through the same situation. So, as a gentleman you need to be respectful of your personal needs for space and of your partner’s needs as well. Till the time your case is not finalized, try to maintain a healthy relationship between you and your wife as fairly as possible. It will help in making the whole situation easier for both of you. Realize that you have differences and honor them as part of what makes you compatible.
Always keep the lines of communication between you, your spouse and your children open. This will help in ending your marriage in a happy note. This is why the best divorce suggestion especially for men is communication and lots of it. Without judging things on your own, try to talk with your wife and tell the things that you have always wanted to say. Check what your wife is feeling and try to forget about the right and wrong in your relationship. If you have children don’t try to forget that communication is must for the future of your children.
Going through a divorce process is itself a very emotional and tiring phase of life. To make the legal process go smoothly, try to behave in a proper manner. Anything you say and do during the process can be used against you during the hearing of your case. So be mindful of what you say and do. Also don’t dwell on the past and try to behave like a gentleman. Holding grudges against your wife is a complete waste of energy and it can spoil your present and future too. Also if you have children, they will prefer you to be their ideal person.
You and your wife have equal rights on assets and property that you have made jointly. This is why you should not fight over possessions unless it was yours prior to getting married. Also if some of the assets belong to your wife before marriage, then you must not ask for a share from that. Only calculate how much your marital estate will be worth. Here you need to calculate properties, family business, savings and debts, and so on that you and your wife jointly own. This will help in analyzing your financial condition and how you need to manage your finances.
Since the whole process related to termination of marriage can be highly stressful, it is important for men to take better care of themselves – mind, body, and soul. Do your best to get adequate sleep, food, and exercise on a regular basis. Don’t drink or smoke your way through your issue as you will need a clear head and steady emotions to handle the whole situation. If you are feeling stress and it is too hard to handle on your own, take help of friends or professionals. Divorce counselors or therapists can help you to see life in a better way. Such sessions help you to overcome the emotional and mental burden of your life that is quite common to happen after the legal battle.
As soon as you and your wife have made up the decision to end your marriage, you must break the news to your children. Have a plan in place, and be open to feedback and negotiation, on how to best care for your children. Make your children understand that they are important for you and you will be always there for them whenever they need the support of their father. Your children see you as the strong, honorable head of the family. Take the role seriously and they’ll still respect you after the divorce. Always stay involved, stay honorable and continue to be the man your children can look up to and respect.
Avoid Emotional Baggage:
Going through a divorce process is a very emotional phase of life. So it will be better if you don’t engage in unnecessary emotional arguments with your soon-to-be ex wife. Try to discuss things related to why you want the marriage to end in a human way. End the fights and try to be spend some time together recalling the good as well the bad things that both you and your wife has shared in the past. In the heat of the moment don’t do or say anything that you would be ashamed of later on. If you have apologies to make for your behavior, do it face to face as it will help in managing your emotions in a better way.
Keep Documents Safe:
It has been found that during divorce, wives get tempted to know about the whole financial details of their husbands. Hence, it is highly recommended for any man move their papers, documents and personal valuables to a place where their wife cannot reach. Always remember that any sort of financial information and other evidence can be used against you in the court.
Divide accounts and stocks:
Close all the joint bank accounts and open two separate accounts for you and your wife. Also divide stock, bonds or mutual funds that are held jointly with your wife. Close all joint credit or loan accounts and notify the banks, charge cards, and others by a certified, return receipt letter that you are no longer responsible for the expenses of your wife. Retirement funds acquired during a marriage are marital assets and so must stop contributing to the pension plan until the divorce is finalized. It is important to note that if you cover your spouse or children on your insurance, do not drop them from the policy at least until the trial is over.
Control your finances:
When you decide to end your marriage, you need to have money to spend for the divorce process. Hiring an attorney and filing a petition in the court will need a lot of money. This is why you need to control your expenses. Make a new budget for yourself or you could find yourself having financial problems later on. Cut down on things that you can live without such as extra telephone lines or cable television. If there is any personal property you do not want or need, sell it with permission of the courts. Spend money wisely and only when necessary.However, do not cut off the utilities on your children and their mother without giving them plenty of notice.
To conclude, as a man, going through the process of divorce can be very overwhelming and so you need to handle the situation in a better way. The above mentioned suggestions will definitely help men in many ways.