Dating can be really tough for people who are recently divorced – both men and women. First of all divorce is a very stressful phase of life and after the whole legal battle one need to start enjoying life once again. A new relationship sounds exciting but forgetting the past can be difficult at times.
How soon after divorce is it appropriate to start dating?
Well, there is no specific answer to this question. The time period mostly depends on the individual, the circumstances and how one is managing life after such a big phase. However, experts believe that anyone going through divorce should wait at least six months to one year before even considering seeing someone new. This is so because due to emotional state of mind, there is a high chance of making a mistake in choosing the right person for dating. A wrong relationship can be too much to handle after one failure. First concentrate on your life, your aims and your future plans before you start seeing someone.
Some useful dating tips:
- When you go for dating don’t talk about your past. Here it means nothing related to your ex husband or ex wife. If you start complaining about your past married life, it shows how frustrated you are with life and you still have some grudges against your ex. This will create a bad impression about you on your new partner.
- Before you start seeing someone seriously, you need to start your social life. Go to parties, meet old friends, make new friends and then choose one suitable person to date. Don’t show your eagerness to date the first single person you meet after getting divorced. This will send a wrong single to the person you are planning to date.
- Use the support of your friends to search a new date. But in the search of a perfect date, don’t go out with friends that are not supportive of your quest. It will make it easy for you to choose the right person to date.
- Leave the bad memories behind and don’t make the mistake of comparing your new date to your ex. Comparing can spoil the new relationship and even your self-respect too.
- Improve your physique by going to the gym and eating healthy. You want to look at your best when you plan to start a new life. Your new date must be impressed with your dressing sense and the way you present yourself.
- If you have children, always inform them about the new person in your life in an age-appropriate manner. It is not necessary to bring the new person in your life to meet your children. Just informing them about the new person is enough in the beginning.
- In your zest to start seeing someone, don’t ignore your responsibilities towards your children. Your children should always be your top priority. It is very natural for children to resent a new relationship as they simply don’t want to share their father or mother with someone else.
- Don’t go for an intimate relationship with your partner in the first meeting itself. You must guard your feelings against trying to take things too fast. First focus on the romantic and sensual side of things and then think about the physical intimacy.
- Search for the new partner with patience and intelligence. Instead, of jumping on the first possible candidate, step back and think about what you want in a future partner, and understand what went wrong last time.
- You must stay away from anyone that reminds you of your ex. This is important as when one reminds you of some other person; it is quite obvious to start comparing. When you start comparing tow persons, things will not go in the right direction.
- Make sure it feels right when you choose someone to date and for heaven’s sake, don’t simply date to take revenge on your ex. It is a fact that no one likes going on an emotional roller coaster ride.
Never Go For Dating During Divorce:
Having romantic encounters with someone else during the last stages of your official and final separation can have disastrous effects on your case. Experts suggest that you must avoid the idea of dating altogether before the case is finalized. For instance if you are dating and your spouse gets to know about it, he or she can use this information against you in the court. In such situations you will have to do some explanation in court as to why you were eager to start a new relationship. On top of that you will surely not want to spoil your image in court during the last stages of the divorce process. One wrong impression regarding your character can make a lot of difference in relation to the settlement issues that are handled by the court. Even you might be rejected by the court as a suitable candidate for child custody. So, it is advisable not to think about dating until and unless your case is finalized by the court and you have the final decree in your hand.
When you start thinking about dating after getting divorced, always remember that you are the most important thing in your life. Always make sure that you’re happy with your new partner before you plan anything serious and start making commitments. If you are happy with your choice nothing can go wrong and soon you will start enjoying things like you used to do before your divorce.