Some Common Causes and Reasons for Divorce


It is said that marriages are made in heaven but then why most marriages end in divorce. According to US divorce statistics, the rate of divorce in America is very close to the shocking figure of 50%. It is true that marriages fail but not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there just one solid reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, there are some common factors that finally lead to termination of marriage.

Here are some of the factors behind divorce:

Lack of Communication:

For the survival and success of any relationship, proper communication is must. When there will be less or no communication, problem will start in any relationship and marriage is not an exception here. In fact, lack of communication is one of the leading causes behind termination of marriage. Communication in a marriage does not mean agreeing with each other. Here it means discussion about an issue and ultimately eventual resolution. When the lines of communication fail, both you and your partner will stop discussing about your mutual or personal issues. Till now there is no trick or magic that can be applied to find out what is going inside one’s head. Good and open communication is essential in the relationship of a husband and wife to ensure that both partners understand each other. So, whenever there is some problem in a marriage, it becomes important for the partners to communicate properly and should never choose the silent path, as it might lead the path towards the court.

Issues Related to Finance:

Money also poses as one of the biggest causes in the lives of married couples that ultimately result in divorce. Often, money has been the possible cause of disagreement on different issues between people including couples. The love for money is the root of all kinds of evil and it’s definitely the cause of arguments, fights, and court actions. In a marriage, whenever there is a difference in spending and saving habits, money, or rather, arguing over money it becomes the cause of misunderstanding and poor communication between couples. When things get bad, couples don’t prefer to discuss about financial status. It has been found that couples who are relatively successful with their finances are less likely to argue and choose to end their marriage. So, when there is any issue related to money and finance, it is important that you discuss the same with your partner and resolve it soon. 

Infidelity or Cheating:

Marriage is a relationship based on trust, faith and feelings for each other. This is why whenever a partner is involved in infidelity or cheating; it causes pain and suffering to the other partner. Very few marriages can survive the fatal impact of infidelity. This is why infidelity often becomes one of the leading factors behind dissolution of marriage. Infidelity is a violation of mutually agreed rules or boundaries that a couple assume in a relationship. When one starts cheating with his or other partner and the fact gets revealed by the other partner, the trust and faith does not remain the same. In such cases, the other partner feels like captive in a baseless relationship and look for ways to get away from it. Most of the time, the best suitable solution comes in the form of divorce.

Different Expectations:

Wrong or too much expectation from your partner, can at times lead to arguments. We are all human beings and we all are distinct in nature and we all have faults and when your life partner cannot bear the faults and assume wrong expectations, then it will definitely cause problems in your married life. Always remember that different expectations about household tasks, about having or bringing up of children, about managing finance and so on can have bad impact on your marriage. For a successful marriage, it is important for both the husband and wife not to allow their expectations reach heights and they should be reasonable in what they expect from their partner. If this is not fulfilled it can lead to divorce.

Commitment:

Marriage is an institution which needs commitment from both parties. It is impossible for just the single person to make a marriage successful. A marriage is a partnership between husband and wife and thus it takes both the people to make it work. Commitment must be there from both the partners and when one does not care about the relationship, it will certainly die. When we talk about commitment it also means that there should be some sacrifices too. Commitment and sacrifice goes hand in hand to make a marriage successful. Without commitment from both partners, there will be high possibility of breaking a relationship.

Addiction:

Too much addiction for anything is bad and it has been found that addiction is also a leading factor behind the ending of a marriage. Especially, alcohol and drug addiction does not go well with the institution of marriage. This is because; alcohol addiction and drug addiction often lead to substance abuse. When you are addicted you are walking in the path of destruction and the more you are addicted the impacts are stronger. When you find that your partner is addicted you must take the right step and get some immediate professional help. Living with an addicted person is very difficult and hence people choose the path of divorce.

Sexual incompatibility:

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In any marriage, physical intimacy is important and problem in this area often cause stress that ultimately leads to divorce. Sexual incompatibility whether it is due to reproductive incapability or any other issue varies significantly from couple to couple. This is why any couple who feel that such issue is affecting their relationship they should take professional help and try to resolve the problem. Remember that improper attitudes about sex can also bring couples to the breaking point. The sex drive is a very powerful force and when there is no sexual satisfaction between the partners, its impact can be soon noticed in the marriage relationship.

Child-rearing Issues:

Just like when you are not able to have a child, the issue of child rearing can also cause rifts in marriage and lead to divorce. It is quite common to see that differences in ideas of child rearing cause rifts in marriages, contributing to the list of reasons for divorce. Many times, the sexual drought and the increase in the list of responsibilities that often follows childbirth become difficult for couples to handle. During this time the expectation level of partners become too high and when it is not fulfilled it causes problems. One of the ways to manage child rearing is to write down responsibilities and share them fairly. This way you can easily share your responsibilities as parents and your child will not have to go for emotional torture that actually takes place after divorce.

Job and Career:

In a highly advanced society like America, both men and women work together. At times the professional life of partners becomes the reason for divorce. For instance, when career oriented husbands have an expectation that their wives will sacrifice their career for the sake of the family, it can lead to differences in thoughts. This is why it is important for both husband and wife to understand the job requirements of each other. Whenever there is a desire to change location due to career growth, the decision should be mutual and not a forced one. Career is important for both the partners and thus one should have respect for the other partner. Any abrupt decision made in case of career and job often lead to problems in married life.

Boredom:

When married couples get bored of each other or the life style they are drawn to, it often leads to the path of divorce. When there is boredom in marriage, couples eventually grow distant and get disinterested in each other. Some of the common factors behind boredom are not enough sex, illness, inability to age gracefully, lack of mutual interests, intellectual incompatibility, social isolation, no community support, dependent adult children, insufficient financial resources and absence of humor. Couples facing any of these situations should remember the good things and accomplishments of their lives and shift the focus from the negatives to the positives. Take care of the first sign of boredom by trying new and interesting things or otherwise your marriage might end in divorce.

Other reasons:

In addition to the above, there are also many other causes also that include a small thing like snoring habit of a partner, substance abuse, physical torture, emotional abuse, inability to manage or resolve conflict, personality differences, interference from parents or in-laws, lack of maturity, intellectual incompatibility, not allowing room for personal growth, falling out of love, religious beliefs, jealously, cultural differences, lifestyle differences, mental instability, criminal behavior and many more.

To conclude, divorce statistics show that the divorce rate is higher in America and with the rate going higher and higher it becomes important to analyze the causes for divorce and try to resolve it. The success of a marriage really depends upon the kind of relationship that husband and wife shares. So, in case of any problem, husband and wife must try to resolve the issue at home before knocking the door of the court. 


4 Responses to “Some Common Causes and Reasons for Divorce”

  1. Grace says:

    i am married now my husband doesnt like talking to me rather communicate to each other. each time he reads newspaper. when it comes to money to buy relish and groceries he gives me K100,000 which cant buy enough items. he hasnt shown me bank account and all the properties has been put in their children am the second wife and i have no children with him. i he a divorce with 4 children and his last born is 19 years.

    please advise i want to run away i have seen no future in this marriage.

    worried lady.

  2. Rick says:

    I married my wife because she brought certain things to the marriage. One of the important ones is that she was a professional. A nurse with a college degree and a good paying job where she was liked and respected. A few months after we were married, she quit her job and never went back. I’ve always resented the fact that she quit her job without consulting me. We have no kids and I don’t think it is fair that I work (I make enough to pay the bills) and she does not. She stays home, does laundry once a week, cleans the house once every couple of weeks, does not cook that often because we eat out often and basically does what she likes. Also, she is controlling and controls the finances and gives me a hard time whenever I want to do something that doesn’t involve her (fish, camp, etc.) which she doesn’t want to do anyway. I love my wife and don’t want to divorce her, but I don’t see myself working for the rest of my life while she stays home without kids. She refuses to go to marriage counseling and we can’t have a meaningful discussion about the issues because she hates to be criticized about anything! Advice?

  3. Jacob says:

    Grace, Jesus Christ is the best answer to your problems. He has saved me from my everything messed up in my life. He saved me from suicide and bad relationships and more. Seek Him, and He will help you.

  4. Sana says:

    Dear Grace,

    Communication is the most crucial element in any relationship. Open communication is essential for building a healthy and long lasting relation. Most of the misunderstandings are caused due to lack of proper communication. Have you ever thought about why your husband doesn’t like to communicate with you? Is it because of lack of understanding or is he having an affair? Its upto u to find out the changes in his behavior. I would suggest you to talk to him and find out the reason. It is essential for you to understand the reason behind him behaving like this.

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