Divorce is a life changing phase in any women’s life. During such legal process women feel the loss of self-esteem and confidence and the whole situation add to the sense of loss, pain and confusion. For women, if they don’t take action early can even find that the arrangements aren’t as fair as it should be. So, no matter whether a woman decides to end the marriage or the situation is vice versa, every woman should be prepared for it.
Here are some important suggestions for women:
Always bear in mind that you will need money for a divorce to hire a lawyer, to maintain yourself and your children for a while and so on.Hence, as soon as you get to know that your husband wants divorce from you or you are filing a petition, withdraw half of all funds in all joint savings and checking accounts. These are the accounts that are in both of your names and you are entitled to half of what is there in the accounts. Don’t try to withdraw all the money, as it will create a bad image of yours. Keep the bank receipts from these transactions so that you can show the judge that you have withdrawn exactly half of what’s there on the date of the withdrawal. This way your husband cannot blame of taking all the money. You must also cancel all joint credit cards. Open a new credit card in your own name. You also need to remove your husband’s name as an additional cardholder on any of your own credit cards.
Current Financial Status:
Although it can take only days to become legally divorced, it can take many years to recover financially if you are not careful. So, it is very important to gather all the essential financial information and paperwork to make an estimation regarding your current financial status. You will need copies of your recent bank statements, household bills, credit card statements, copies of any investments and savings accounts you may have and the mortgage on your home. Keep copies of the last three years worth of tax filings to show total income for both you and your husband. This will help the judge to make fair decisions regarding support for you and any children you might have.
The idea of ending the marriage brings with it different feelings. It is very natural to find all kinds of negative feelings and thoughts running through your head but you need to bear in mind that such feelings are not facts, just thoughts and feelings. You need to let go of emotional baggage and think about your future. You need to leave the past and grow and prosper as a human being. Don’t see yourself as a victim but try hard to regain your optimism for life, your self-esteem and your power. Your focus in life should be to create a new and better life after the whole legal battle.
You need to think about the cost of divorce and as getting it done in any of the US states is not that cheap, you need to cut down your expenses for some time. For instance, instead of two expensive cars you can sell one and manage with just one car for some time. Cut down on things that you can live without such as extra telephone lines or cable television. If there is any personal property you do not want or need, sell it with permission of the courts. Make a budget and stick to it as long as the judge does not sign the final decree.
Do Your Research:
Most women are not prepared for such legal issues. Hence, as soon as such a matter appears in your life, you need to update yourself about the laws, rules, and regulations and so on. If you know little or nothing about the divorce process, you may not make the best decisions or choices. To make yourself comfortable about this situation you must gain knowledge about legal procedure. Also always try to hire the best attorney and don’t trust the attorney suggested by your husband. This will also increase your chance of knowing about the final output of your case. To gain knowledge you can take the help of Internet or even talk with your family members and friends.
It is true that divorce can have devastating effect on any women. But don’t make yourself vulnerable and try to keep things as normal as possible in your life. Do not skip meals or change sleeping habits. Exercise is always a great way to relieve stress. Try not to isolate yourself from your friends. Maintain a positive outlook towards life and don’t indulge into unnecessary conflicts with your spouse as it will add more to your lists of worries. Instead try to focus on the present and not the past. Make a plan for your future and try to see the positive side of your new life that is waiting for you. If you feel necessary, take help of counselors or talk to friends or family members for help and suggestions.
Talk about Settlement:
It should be the intention of every woman to receive a fair and equitable settlement. You must talk to your husband regarding child custody, spousal support and division of assets. Try to have realistic expectations in this regard. Gather all the information regarding joint assets and organize the documents related to assets. This will help your attorney and even the judge to make a fair settlement. It can be even possible that your husband might not be willing for equal division of assets. If required take the help of your attorney or some expert for equal division of property. Prepare for the battle wisely and carefully by understanding your husband’s intentions.
Talk to Children:
If you have children, it will be a good idea for you and your spouse to resolve the custody issues before the court issues an order. You and your husband must break the news to your children together. Have a plan in place, and be open to feedback and negotiation, on how to best care for your children. Hold age-appropriate conversations with your children and try to answer all their queries in a calm manner. Always remember that children are very sensitive and one wrong step will leave a lasting impact on their mind.
Prepare for Future:
It is important for every woman to stay organized and set your priorities during a divorce. For instance if you are the one moving out from the house you need to start looking for a new location. Try to prepare your children for the future changes. List all the items you have to accomplish and mark them off as you go through them. This is the best way to prepare for future. Also don’t dwell on the past as holding grudges against your husband is a complete waste of energy and it can spoil your present and future too.
Don’t Start Dating:
Never start dating anyone else until the case is finalized and you have the order of the court in your hand. It is important to wait before you start dating another man as dating during your divorce can have a severely impact on settlement clauses. Also it will be impossible to justify dating early. This can create a question mark on your character and behavior and you might even not be considered a good candidate for child custody.
Apart from the above mentioned suggestions for women, the best piece of advice for any woman is to be well prepared (both physically and mentally) for the whole legal proceeding and the life after it. By making sure that you are fully prepared you can make the process flow as smoothly as possible, reducing the overall amount of stress and pain you will have to deal with.
To conclude, for women who are currently going through a divorce process or even thinking about getting one, they need to act bravely. Any woman can survive and thrive after the termination of marriage and it will take some time and effort. Move on with your life after divorce and enjoy your life as a single person.