Know How to Avoid Divorce


Every year, hundreds of couples in the United States file for divorce. Looking at US divorce statistics, the figure is not at all good. With one out of two marriages ending in the courtroom, the divorce rate in the US is a matter of concern. This becomes more important for couples to know about how they can avoid it. Well, it is always better to avoid such emotional phase of life associated with termination of marriage rather than coping with it.

A marriage is an institution and its four pillars are patience, communication, commitment and trust. Till these four pillars are stable nothing can go wrong in a marriage. But if any of these are lacking, your marriage relationship can be in trouble. Also it has been found that that many couples take the decision of end their marriage in haste and regret later. Divorce does not end problems; rather give rise to another set of problems.

Avoid trouble in your marriage and avoid divorce by following some basic steps:

Communication:

According to many research works, it has been found that lack of communication between husband and wife can often lead to divorce. Without proper communication it will be difficult for a couple to understand each other’s feelings. Also poor communication frequently leads to misinformation. So, whenever you find problem in your marriage, you should increase the amount of communication with your spouse. To start healthy communication, you and your spouse can go out for lunch or dinner together as this can be a great time for communication. Maintaining proper communication is one of the most effective ways to keep your marred life working.

Compromise:

In any relationship, compromise is a fundamental element that binds a couple together in harmony. When two people get married it is the blend of two cultures where each one comes from a different family background, educational attainment, beliefs, needs, and ethical standards. While living together, couples need to make compromises as a part of their everyday life because marriage is a give-and-take relationship. You can’t possibly argue over every little difference of opinion you have with your spouse. Both people have to be willing to compromise. Making compromise will not make you less of a person. In fact, compromise will show how mature you are and how willing you are to make your marriage successful.

Devote time:

Many a times, the busy schedule of couples become the reason for termination of marriage. For a successful marriage, both husband and wife need to devote time to each other. It is not necessary that you need to go out for a vacation or walk; you can even take out some time at home and spend with your spouse. Find the time to eat dinner together or cuddle on the couch to watch a good movie. When you both are together try to talk about your day or even about your relationship. If you both are too busy, make sure you set aside at least one day to spend with each other every week.

Bring romance back:

Whenever you think there is something wrong in your relationship, try hard to bring harmony and romance back in the picture. Show the love for your spouse and don’t be afraid or shy in doing so. Remember to tell your spouse, ‘I Love You’ and show the love for your spouse in different ways. Spend more time doing things that you both like. Focus on what the two of you still have in common. For instance, if you both like walking on the beach try to do so once in a week. Do something special for your partner. At times take a break and cook your spouse’s favorite dish to make him or her happy. Even flowers, a love note, or an enticing voice message can make your partner know you care.

Take a break:

Sometimes life becomes monotonous and there is no spice left in life. A side effect of leading a monotonous life can be tension in the married life. During such times couples become busy in their own life and start feeling distant and indifferent. When such feeling comes in the mind that the other is no more interested in the marriage it can lead to its end. This is the time when you must give your relationship a chance by taking a vacation together. You might end up discovering the long lost romance and after coming from a vacation the idea of ending their relationship would be no more.

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Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is biggest thing in this world. One important thing to remember is that everyone has faults, mistakes will be made, and things will be said and regretted later. If you get in a fight with your partner, things can take an ugly turn. So, if your spouse has done some minor mistake, instead of being angry you should forgive him. Don’t create a scene for a small mistake as it can lead to big tensions in life. Forgiving may not be easy to do, but the process eventually gets manageable and easier with time. This act of yours will make your spouse guilty and such small mistakes will never be repeated. Always speak softly as anger will not do any good to your married life. Always discuss with your partner in a calm manner about what needs to be corrected in their relationship, and proceed to correct those flaws. Also if you or your spouse have temper problem try to keep it under control.

Know your fault:

To save your marriage, you need to find your faults too. Instead of pointing fingers at your spouse, think about your responsibility and the role you play. Try to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and think about your spouse’s feeling. Here you must be honest in making judgments. This will give a clear picture of where you have done wrong. Once you know your mistake, you can easily work on mending your relationship. Also whenever there is some problem in your marriage, remind yourself of all the wonderful things in your relationship.

Be realistic:

Whenever there is some problem in your marriage, try to look at the depth of the problem. Most of the marriages fail because couples cannot work together on minor issues. Unresolved disputes tend to create tension and distance too, which is not good for a healthy relationship. This mainly happens due to ego conflict. At times husband and wife become unrealistic and start giving importance to their ego and such attitude has no place in a married life. Always keep in mind that a marriage is not a one-sided affair, so try to be supportive and appreciative of each other. Do not take each other for granted. Both spouses need to work on improving the relationship.

Sex:

No matter how busy you are, sex is an important part in a successful married life. In a relationship it is important to understand your partner’s sexual desires. It is essential that husband and wife don’t spend too much time apart. It has been found that couples who are dissatisfied with their sex life are more likely to consider termination of marriage. This is because sex has a strong psychological effect in a marriage. So, spice up your sex life by doing something new and enjoyable.

Get help:

If you really want to save your marriage, try to seek marriage counseling when necessary. At times, husband and wife cannot judge things properly on their own. This is the time when they should take help of marriage counselors who can give advices on how to save marriage. Taking professional help will help you know the core of the problem and also a solution to come out of the situation. It is not necessary that you should go to some professionals only; you can even take advice from someone whom you think as an ideal couple and they can be your parents, friends and so on. In a counseling session, you might discover that divorce is not actually desirable and the problems can be solved by little adjustments.

Separation for a while:

If your relationship with your spouse is deteriorating day by day and there are frequent fights and heated arguments over small issues, you must separate from your spouse for some time. For instance you can go and stay with your friend or cousin for say two weeks. Always remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you and your spouse start missing each other, then divorce is definitely a bad idea. Also absence will make you and spouse realize how important you two are for each other.

To conclude, the above mentioned tips will surely help you in saving your marriage. Try to nurture your relationship and there will be no loopholes that can eventually lead to the thought of ending it. Anyways divorce process should be avoided until and unless there is no scope for any adjustment left.


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