Tips on Divorcing an Alcoholic Husband

Alcoholism is becoming a big problem in the US. Nearly 14 million people in the United States which means one of every 13 adults are alcoholic in nature. Also nearly half of all adults have a family history of alcoholism.

According to US divorce statistics it has been found that divorced or separated men and women are three times more likely to be alcoholics or to have an alcohol problem as compared to married couples. In fact, alcohol is one of the many reasons behind divorce. The habit of drinking in one of the spouse has probably ended more marriages and broken up more families than you can even think of.

Effects of alcohol on marital life:

Alcoholism is a disease with signs like drinking alone, inability to stop drinking and a compulsion to drinks. It is in the nature of alcoholics to lie, make excuses, blame others for their drinking, and continue to use alcohol regardless of the consequences. Hence, being married to an husband who drinks a lot can be challenging for a wife. Here are some of the drawbacks of having an alcoholic life partner:

Distress: When your husband is alcoholic, then the feelings of marital distress are always high. Too much distress in marital life can eventually lead to dissatisfaction and people start looking for ways to escape from the institution of marriage.

Poor communication: When a husband is under the influence of alcohol, it becomes impossible for his wife to communicate with him effectively. Lack of proper communication can give rise to anger, and less warmth and unity in the relationship. Without communication, important issues such as family finances, sexual intimacy, and childrearing decisions go unresolved. This can increase the tension in marital life.

Irresponsible: Due to heavy drinking habit, a person becomes irresponsible in nature. An alcoholic person will not be interested in participating in everyday household tasks and responsibilities. When you don’t get the support of your spouse, you become unhappy of your marital life.

Domestic Violence: Under the influence of alcohol, men are more likely to be verbally and physically violent toward their spouses. Alcohol abuse is connected to increased aggression and marital violence that tends to be more severe and even likely to result in injury. Violence has no place in any relationship.

Negative Influence on Children: When there are small children in a family, alcoholic nature of any one of the parents can lead to psychological distress amongst children. There will also be increase in social, emotional, behavioral, and academic problems, which can be harmful for their future.

Try to Save Your Marriage:

Living with an alcoholic partner xcan be extremely stressful, and hence you need to give yourself time to reflect about the relationship and whether you want to end or continue it. It is true that getting divorce from an alcoholic spouse can help you in many ways. But before taking any step you need to think whether you should do something to save your marriage.

Never forget that alcoholism is a disease and it has got treatments. Your alcoholic spouse definitely needs help. So, try to save your marriage by trying to help your husband get rid of his habit. Alcohol meetings, therapists, support groups or inpatient alcohol treatment facilities can be of great help. Know the treatment options available in your area and call for an appointment if your spouse agrees to get help. You can even ask friends for help. If your spouse doesn’t want help, ask friends to talk with him. Intervention usually includes more than one person. It is a fact that alcoholics cannot treat their own drinking problem no matter how much will power they have. But there is always hope for recovery if support is there.

Keep a close eye on the progress of your husband’s habit of drinking. If you see some improvement, then try to give all the love and care so that he can come out from the clutches of alcoholism.
However, if there is no improvement in the drinking habit of your husband and you find it hard to maintain a healthy atmosphere at home for your children, then you can think of filing a divorce petition in a court. An abusive home atmosphere is not at all good for the overall development of your children. On top of that living with an abusive alcoholic spouse can threaten both your physical safety as well as your emotional well-being.


If you wish to leave your alcoholic spouse, you must be fully prepared – physically, mentally and emotionally. You must do the preparations for a safe exit and have a support system in place to help you through the divorce process.

Here is how you should proceed to divorce your alcoholic husband:

Keep Evidence:

Any court needs evidence when you accuse a person about something. So, collect some evidences to prove that your husband is alcoholic. You can take photos of any evidence of physical violence, such as bruises or broken teeth. Get all copies of police reports, emergency room records and other evidence that indicates your husband’s alcoholic nature.

Search Family Law Practitioner:

Search for a good local family law practitioner and set up a consultation to discuss your legal options. You can take help of your friends or family members when selecting an attorney with experience in domestic abuse cases. The experience and knowledge of your attorney will help in getting divorced from your alcoholic spouse without any hassle.

Leave Your Home:

Once you have made up your mind, you need to make a plan to leave your home safely. If you have children take them with you. Before leaving your home take emergency money, your new bank account details, credit cards, all your important documents, cell phone, clothing and other personal items with you. Always have a safe place to go, such as a friend or relative’s house where your husband will not come looking after you.

Meet Your Lawyer:

Divorce proceedings generally require a lot of paperwork. Hence, you need to set up a meeting with your lawyer to discuss about the papers, the divorce process and anything that you may want to know. Work with your lawyer to negotiate a settlement agreement and legally divorce your abusive alcoholic life partner. With the help of your lawyer file a petition for divorce in your local court.

List of Assets:

One of the important issues discussed in the courtroom is the division of assets. For this you need to find out the value of your marital assets and figure out your share in the assets. Here you will need tax statements, bank account information, mortgage papers, credit card statements and title information.

Create a budget:

Divorce can be expensive. It is not possible to estimate the cost of divorce. So, come up with a realistic budget for you to follow. Don’t spend extravagantly until you succeed in divorcing your husband. In the mean time you need to make a plan regarding what you will be doing after the divorce. You can look for a job or start some business depending upon your budget.

Inform Other:

As the decision to divorce your husband is a big step you will need the support of other people. Inform your family members and friends about your decision and discuss with them about your situation. Always try to have a support system of friends and family members whom you can give a call during emergencies. You never know when you may be in need of some help or even good advices and suggestions.

Final Order:

In the US, if you have the proper evidence and all the necessary papers, you can easily get a divorce. Once you have the divorce decree in your hand, it is time to start a new journey. Complete the other formalities like changing your name after divorce, getting a new Social Security Card, driving license and so on. Now you are free to start working on making a new identity for yourself.

Tips and Warnings:

  • Always take your children with you and never make the mistake of leaving them behind in a volatile environment.
  • Avoid discussions with your husband when he’s drunk as it will lead to more problems in your life.
  • Contact authorities if you believe that your home, pets or children are at risk of being harmed once you have decided to move out.

To conclude, living with an alcoholic spouse can be difficult but you must always try to first save your marriage. Only when there is no sign of improvement in the drinking habit of your husband, you need to think about divorce.

18 Responses to “Tips on Divorcing an Alcoholic Husband”

  1. riya says:

    i want to take a divorce form my husband.

  2. leslie says:

    What kind of evidence should I gather if he is mentally abusive ?

  3. leslie says:

    He does not want a divorce. He says if I leave it will be with nothing

  4. cherissee says:

    My husband drinks from the time he wakes up until he passes out somewhere. I need a divorce been this way for 6 years he is a try drunk. This form helped me out

  5. Susan says:

    I dont belive it is a disease…its a chose…ive lived around this shit child hood untill now..with a husband.. i dont drink or do father and his father died from brothers and sisters dont drink..Drunks like being drunk..thats all they think about..they want people like me to be their caretaker.. they distroy everything around them..they kill people on the roades..its the worst drug on the market and it should not be legal.. Virginia has ABC stores open every day..they sell to drunks, i should know, my husban makes a few trips their in the same day..i thought that was agents the law..they want to make the money off it..its all a joke

  6. LUCY says:

    I am Lucy by name am from Spain 27 year old, my husband dump me for another lady since last year i was very down for loosening my husband to another lady and i try my best to bring him back it was not successful cos the lady was very powerful in a sprite she is using to take over someone husband, when i look in and out off me i see nothing to do rather than to consult a great temple off DR which help me to get the lady out of my husband way and my husband came back home apologizing for what happen. thanks you are a true spell caster. thanks alort.

  7. Ciara punk says:

    I want to appreciate what for re-unite me and my boyfriend within 3days. without demand before casting the spell. Am so happy you are there to assist those that have semiliar problem like, broken marriage,lost of job, and how to make business move forward. I just have to reserve my comment cos more people are to testify of how great you are. thanks the great spell caster.this is from Ciara Punk USA.

  8. Peggy king says:

    Mine gets drunk and calls family members then crys a lot. Starts cussing out the news. Then blames it on his military life of 16 yrs. Then calls his mom a way to much. Big baby too

  9. gobadger says:

    I have been married to a drunk for 40 years. I have decided to divorce him. My lawyer stated when I filed for divorce “I have never in my long years as a lawyer, known a man to give up his booze for his wife.” He is so right! I finally decided to divorce after many long years of putting up with all the bull____ and heartaches. They don’t want to change for us. They love their booze and that’s it. I read on a blog “dogs bark and drunks drink.” LOVE IT!

  10. Catcher, says:

    My name is Catcher, I live in United kingdom..I am here to say a big thank you to Dr mike for helping me and making me smile again, after reading a lot of testimonies about Dr.koko i wrote him and told him to help me restore my marriage as my home have been scattered for 3yrs now, He replied my email and told me to send my pic and my husband pic and some other things, which i did and he said he will be done in 48hrs, with hope i slept and on the 3rd day David called me and asked if i could pack my things to his place and forgive him, i was shocked and this is how Dr.koko helped me in restoring my. home Contact him:
    United Kingdom

  11. June says:

    I am divorcing my alcoholic husband. The only regret I have is waiting too long to leave him. It was up to him to get help and he didn’t. It’s up to an alcoholic to go to rehab. Nobody can make them decide. I waited around for years thinking he would go and made the mistake of trying to get him to go. I have severed contact with him other than emailing. Every time we would speak he would get cruel. Now how’s angry that I won’t talk to him. Tough crap. We have to look out for our own emotional state. It’s been hard on our son who is in college. Both are angry that I cut communication. I will survive and my son is smart and knows how he is communication-wise. He will come around. When it gets to the point you know there is a problem and the marriage breaks down, LEAVE, take your children and keep them safe. Be kind to yourself. The drinker will make you feel inferior and will lie, do anything to harm your thinking. Women as well are alcoholics. Drinking problems do not discriminate. Get help from a counselor and have your children go as well. There is life after alcoholism. Be patient and be around positive influences. I dropped all of our common friends, left everything that reminded me of him, even our dog 🙁 best wishes. Get mental help and a good lawyer.

  12. sona chakraborty says:

    just i fedup of my husband ..ineed a devorce.

  13. fedup says:

    I’ve been married for nearly 45 years and I have to say the last 15 to 20 years have not been very good. A friend showed my husband how to drink bourbon neat (straight). Once he began drinking his bourbon straight, it progressively got worse and worse. Now it is a fifth or more a day and that is after he gets home from work. He can guzzle down a fifth in less than 2 hours, pass out, get up out of his chair and go to bed. There is never any eating dinner together, no conversation, he never helps do ANYTHING around the house and when he tries, he normally tears something up in his attempt. He has fallen and torn up furniture, flipped tables, broken antiques and all because he will not stop drinking. I have told him that I plan to leave him and he just says I can’t. He thinks I won’t, but I have to do something. I don’t draw much social security and I’m still not sure how I will support myself. He is helpless when it comes to paying bills or anything financial. He won’t listen when I tell him not write checks because there is not enough money in the bank… he just keeps on writing checks for cash so he can buy booze. We will never get out of debt at the rate we are going. My mother is near the end of her life and I will inherit a little money and with that money I plan to pay off as much of our debt as I possibly can and hold onto a little for myself. It won’t be much. I am in hopes of selling most of my jewelry and some of my antiques in hopes of raising some money to where I may be able to buy a small house. He says he will move with me… He just doesn’t get it!! I don’t want him if he doesn’t stop drinking. I even talked to his doctor about it and she wrote a prescription for him. I told him what I did and why and asked him if he was willing to give it a try and he said he would quit, but that he didn’t want to be sick. I told him he wouldn’t get sick if he didn’t drink. So, he continues to drink and has not taken any of the medication. That only tells me that he really doesn’t want to quit. So, I will concentrate on my Mom at present and continue my plans to sell some items and hopefully, move on… but at age 66, on a small fixed income, what will I do?? I probably won’t be able to afford a house payment, let alone qualify for a loan with only $900+ coming in each month. Pretty sad to have worked all your life and only get $900+ in social security. Whatever happened to the “Golden Years”???

  14. kusuma kumari g says:

    I live in India. India is a male dominated society and divorces are generally not accepted in society. I loved a man and married him. I realised his drinking habbits late. I had a freind called teni she her husband and myself fought against this guy and settled the divorce out of court.and later we leagally separated alcohol is the root cause of many evil

  15. missvonvile says:

    I’m curious to know why the injured spouse, aka the non- alcoholic is required to leave. I could be wrong but shouldn’t the alcoholic, who is abusive, checked out of all responsibilities, who will vehemently and aggressively protects their drinking and transfers blame to their spouse to hide or minimize their alcoholism, they are the ones who should be required to leave. I know if an injured spouse leaves, it can and WILL be used against you! You could be accused of abandoning the marriage or worse yet your own children. You could very well lose them along with any assets.

  16. missvonvile says:

    Does anyone know the legalities for forcing an alcoholic to leave?

  17. Mike says:

    Remember it’s sometimes the wife who has the drinking problem, not fair to make this about husband only

  18. Deborah Ott says:

    I had planned leaving my alcoholic husband for months. Opening an account, giving familys addresses, locating an apartment, asking family and friends for help. Once set in place the bomb was dropped. Early in morning movers arrived…cleaned the house out. For months beforehand I had organized and prepacked things, cleaning out closets etc. Moving day he just sat there dumbfounded…and I was gone. BEWARE! I made the mistake of taking his invitation to pick up a few things left behind. Next I hear knock knock knock at door…POLICE! Yes, he told them I attacked him and he had marks. Charges were not pressed, however I had to leave. DO NOT BE WITH THEM ALONE! They are desperate.

Leave a Reply